The difference between a positive and negative mindset… and how to change it

Whether you like it or not, you either fall into the positive or negative mindset category. It might not even be something you are that aware of. Your mindset not only determines your entire outlook on life and how you handle situations, but it also impacts heavily on your health and the type of people you attract in your life.

positive life

I work hard on being a positive person but it is easy to get caught up in the “woe is me” negative thought train. Get out of that funk. Your whole life will improve drastically and you will naturally become a much happier person and the knock on effects will be huge.

What helps me to remain positive is to find something to smile about, even in the not-so-great situations. Those that know me, know that I am usually smiling! I stopped letting little things get me down and I take time every single day to be grateful for people and things in my life. The big one I am continuously working on is to stop comparing myself to others. We are all on our own journey and there is absolutely no point in comparing your journey with anyone else’s. It serves no purpose. I think as women this is something wired into us and it is a very unfortunate trait but one that I am working hard to overcome.

Here’s an observation for you…. when I am out running I take notice of the people out and about exercising along the way (it helps keep my mind off the discomfort of running) and it is a true fact that women check each other out as much as men check out women. Is it in judgement, jealousy or comparison OR is it as inspiration and recognition of another strong woman out there working on her herself and her health and fitness. The positive thinker in me would like to believe the latter! I also find that women are far less likely to smile and say Hi to each other when out exercising as men do. Why is that? Do we feel threatened or inadequate? Are we so uncomfortable in our own skin that we can’t smile and show some silent support for one another? I always smile, nod or say Hi to anyone that comes into my path when I’m out exercising… you can call me annoying (I like to think of it as friendly)!

I find when I have a positive attitude and outlook I am not only much happier but I also attract positive energy, positive people and positive outcomes. I have had people say to me in the past “oh you always land on your feet!”, well no I don’t believe that is the case. I always know what I want, I set my mind to something, I truly believe in whatever it is and I am positive of the outcome…. so to me I deserve it and I certainly don’t see it as luck.

Quote - Mahatma Gandhi

Quote – Mahatma Gandhi

I love this quote because it reminds us if we think and live positively, we are likely to enjoy positive results. In other words; what we expect can often come true (positive or negative) and I know which one I’d rather!


The difference between positive & negative mindset

Positive

  • Say “it may be difficult but it is possible”
  • See the gain
  • See possibilities
  • Make it happen
  • Make the most of all situations

Negative

  • Say “it may be possible but it’s too difficult”
  • See the pain
  • See problems
  • Let it happen
  • Let situations get them down

Of the above, which one are you? You can change your mindset. It will take time and lots of conscious effort but it is definitely worth doing. Here are some simple ideas that I implemented to get you started:

  1. Become aware of it, acknowledge it and analyse your thoughts
  2. Avoid negative self talk
  3. Use positive self talk or mirror mantra’s
  4. Surround yourself with positive people
  5. Even in the worst situations take the time to find a positive. Sometimes it will be very hard but even the smallest positive is better than nothing
  6. Keep working on it. It takes time to develop positive attitudes and change behaviours
Quote - Mahatma Gandhi

Quote – Mahatma Gandhi

During our busy days and hectic lives, it can become easy to let negative thoughts sneak into our minds. Be super aware of this happening and focus on turning them into positive thoughts and always look for something to smile about. I try really hard not to spend time dwelling on things because I was finding it was usually things I had no control over anyway and it was consuming me.

Shrug it off, let it go and move on. Don’t let a bad yesterday dictate a bad tomorrow!

I would love to hear anyone else’s story about how they have turned a negative mindset into a positive one or some things you do to stay positive! Please feel free to share over on FitM.U.M’s facebook page

I also post lots of positive, motivational and inspirational things so be sure to follow FitM.U.M on Instagram

Stay Positive FitMummy’s! xx

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Stop Comparing, Start Enjoying… A body image lesson from my 7 year old daughter

My message… Stop comparing, start enjoying! Stop wishing, start doing! Stop waiting, start living!

comparisons

After watching this Dove Beauty Legacy Campaign on Social Media last week, it really got me thinking and questioning myself.

A few days later my 7 year old, Lily and I were in my bathroom and she was looking at herself in the mirror. “What do you like when you look in the mirror?” I asked her. She smiled and replied straight away, listing off “my eyes, my curly hair, my smile”. It made me feel really happy. “What other things do you love about yourself? I was intrigued… Again without hesitation she said “I’m funny, I’m kind, I’m clever and I’m good at art and designing”.

As much as I hate to admit it, Lily has definitely heard me say negative things about myself BUT she still sees only positives in herself (and in me)…. for now! I am so grateful that she hasn’t picked up on any negative self image beliefs yet but I realised that I need to stop with the comparing, wishing and wanting because she is approaching such a tender and impressionable age that I would never forgive myself if she began to be unhappy with anything about herself. She is perfect and that’s the way I want her to continue seeing herself. Do you know, not that long ago I would have struggled to come up with one positive answer about myself if asked the same questions I asked Lily?! Thankfully this is something I have been able to turn around and I work hard on always finding positives and being happy and content with who I am and what I have.

In all the time you spend comparing yourself to others and wishing for something more; life is passing you by anyway so why not enjoy it! Don’t pass your body image issues onto your daughter. We need them to grow up as strong women with high self worth. It has only just been recently that I have really understood the importance of this and every single day I strive to live more happily. And I must say it’s working. I got tired of waiting for the next thing or wishing for something newer, bigger, better and I was missing the fact that I already had it. I just wasn’t enjoying it! No one wants to be a negative role model for their children but we can inadvertently fall into the trap and social media does play a big part in this and it is why I am so passionate about living a healthy, happy and active life and being the best role model I can be for my girls.

Something that I have been working on and reminding myself daily is that I am living my life, not somebody else’s. I am affecting the people close to me and I am so determined to make it a positive impact rather than a negative one.

The truth may hurt and may not always be what we want to hear, but it is still the truth. You are still YOU! You can work to change things but do it on your terms to be a better you, not to become someone else, who in all honestly is thinking and feeling exactly the same way you are anyway ~ they are just trying to be like someone else!

granted

Look in a mirror daily and be like my awesome 7 year old Daughter and tell yourself what you actually like about yourself. It may be hard to start with but you will get better at it and you will definitely get a sense of happiness and we all know positive energy promotes positive energy. It is so easy to get caught in a downward spiral but do yourself a favour and change the direction of your spiral! I am happier with myself now in my 30’s than I have ever been and guess what?…. I do have a slightly saggy belly (it is my reminder that I carried my 2 precious babies), I do have crows feet and wrinkles around my eyes (my reminder that I always find something to smile and laugh about), I have freckles (so what!)… I am fit, healthy and confident and that’s good enough for me!

daughtermotivation

So, Lily and I want to ask you “What do you love about yourself?”

what do you love blog post